WrestleMania 32: Predictions for a Ho-Hum Supershow
by Ivan the Impaler
In This Reporter's humble opinion, we are facing the least enthralling WrestleMania line-up in at least 6 years. (In light of NXT Takeover, it may not even be the most entertaining PPV this weekend.) True, injuries are a major cause: Seth Rollins, John Cena, Randy Orton, Daniel Bryan, Cesaro, Neville and possibly Luke Harper are all hurtin'. And no Zeb Coulter, for which I still weep. Plus, no David Ortunga, for whom I do not weep.
Nonetheless, a mediocre WrestleMania is still WrestleMania. It's better than a Final Four, The People Choice's Awards and Two Broke Girls all put together. Perhaps Dallas Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones, after a few bourbons, will strip down to his underwear and try to interfere in the "Divas" tag-team match. And you can rest assured there will be SOME type of alliance formed between Goldust and R-Truth, because they've been building it ad nauseum for the last few months.
- Roman Reigns wins and becomes the John Cena of 2016. More than half the smarks hate him, but putting him against HHH may be the best (relatively) way to get him over with the fans. Otherwise, he'd have to wrestle Sheamus for the title every week. If this doesn't work, I say turn him heel by Summerslam.
- On paper, it's easy to call this for Lesnar. But wrestling matches aren't fought on paper, although the results ARE booked on paper. The Wild Card here is the Wyatt Family, which helped eliminate Brock from the Royal Rumble. Prediction: The Wyatts take Lesnar out of the equation. Ambrose wins, but soon bonds with Brock to set up a tag team match, most likely against Bray and Stroman. (NOTE- I have a feeling that Luke Harper WILL be at ringside, although he won't get heavily involved due to his leg injury. No announcement has been made by WWE regarding Harper's status, and being the Starship Trooper he is, Luke may hold off surgery until after the Biggest Payday of Them All)
- Simple solution: Undertaker wins because he's the Undertaker (setting up his 25th and last WM next year against, most likely, John Cena). However, on Raw the next night, the writers come up with a plausible way to force VKM to give control of the show over to Shane. And all hilarity ensues
- This is one that could go any way, but a Lynch win seem least likely. I'll bet on Sasha (yes, I said "bet). If nothing else, watching Ric Flair's facials and attempts to interfere are always priceless. This is a title that could flip several times over the rest of the year without devaluing it's prestige.
The Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
-Mark Henry gets his retirement gift. Braun Stroman could be a dark horse here, and you can't totally count out Big Show from repeating, which could signal that HE will be retiring soon.
-Can't be objective here. I want Ryback to win. If he doesn't, he should at least hurt Kalisto. Which he may do even without trying.
Some say Kalisto sells too many masks, so he'll probably retain, but the prospect of Ryback being a tweener-champ would be too intriguing for me to pass up. The Big Guy wins, grabs a taco from a ringside plant, eats half of it, then stuffs the rest in Kalisto's face.
- WWE calls this the "Kickoff Match", which is appropriate because it will be kicked aside soon after it's done. Since there are few good workers (Paige and Nattie, plus maybe Emma) in this match, I don't care . Eva Marie's team will probably win, because somebody in the front office desperately wants her to succeed despite her consistently amazing ineptness. Plus, she's on the same side as Paige and Nattie, so it makes sense.
Wrestlevision was a weekly TV show airing in Rochester, Buffalo, Elmira/Corning and Olean NY, from January 2004 until June 2008, producing over 130 half-hour episodes, covering the great mat action in Western NY and Southern Ontario, and also featured interviews with some of the legends in the business (ie "industry"), as well as top independent talent.
Starting in mid-2008, Wrestlevision changed focus to highlight the talents of NWA:NY (now known as Upstate Pro Wrestling), thru the program WV Presents :NWA-NY NO LIMITS TV.
In 2014, WV Presents returned with "The Big Schmozz" Podcast. Ivan the Impaler and Superstar Rob Schulz brought you an inside look at professional wrestling, covering WWE, TNA Impact, Lucha Underground, Ring of Honor - and even talked way more than necessary about Global Force Wrestling.
In 2017, Wrestlevision returned to the airwaves for a special 2-part Reunion.
Currently, Ivan the Impaler is a contributing writer to Roc Sports NOW! as well as freelance articles in many fine publications.